So you’re a black woman attracted to Asian males

Now what?

The only social barriers to be crossed are the one of the Asian male
you're interested in. Once he is sure he wants you in his life
everything falls into place because most families who care for their
children; within time, after seeing their child isn't struggling with
his or her decision becomes accepting or go to their gave being
stubborn no matter who you married for their reasoning had nothing to
do with your happiness as much as their personal needs.

Most of the battle is when the interracial persons you love don't
stick up for you and show you respect at all times. If the persons you
love don't do this for you his or her family will never feel you are
worthy to be accepted and continue to treat you a certain way.

I also think if Asian males weren't so culturally brainwashed by
their homogeneous society commercialized reasoning of Black people in
general; they would find that we as Black women have a lot in common
with their culture such as family values, the drive to succeed in a
society that makes us last. The need to be accepted for whom we are
and an appreciation for what we can bring to the relationship to make
it successful.

The first thing a woman can do to make it successful is take time to
get to know more about the culture and language of the person you are
involved with. Don't go into the relation with the "If he loves me
he would" attitude, because if you love him, you would respect and
educate yourself to what is expected of you to be in his life.
Tradition is a very important part of the Asian culture, anything
less is seen as being disrespectful. You are allowed to make ignorant
mistakes when you are just a visiting friend, but in a relationship
it's unacceptable.

If you are fortunate enough to get to meet his family, ask him who
will be attending and to help you go buy gifts for everyone. No
matter who you are it is rude to not accept your gift even if they do
not like you. They will accept it and grudgingly appreciate your
offer. Al lot of times in Southern Korea rudeness to each other can
also be a form of endearment depending on the level of intimacy you
have with a person. They show all this hot air and bluster and
laughing and hugging you the next. Talking about passionate and
argumentive people. Black folks have nothing on them...lol

Do you know in most Asian culture there is a ritual to something as
simple as sitting down and having a drink with someone. Such as you
don't usually pour your own drink when a bottle is on the table. You
pour their drink and they pour yours, also depending on the rank or
age of the person you drinking with, you hold your hand beneath your
glass and depending on the person you turn away to turn the glass up
to your lips. If their glass is empty make sure you refill it
immediately unless they put their hand over their glass and politely
decline. Knowing these simple things show you cared enough to at
least try.

Acting accordingly, being able to understand what is being said
around you, or to communicate to their elders that may not had the
opportunity of a full education will show a lot of respect that you
aren't trying to sway their child into your culture, but you're
trying to become an accepted part of theirs, while bringing some of
yours into the equation. Before you date an Asian male make sure he
is respecting of you completely. Most of them are not trying to just
have sex with the women they want a future with. They are old
fashion in thinking even if they are all male in actions. They don't
mind and usually appreciate a woman that wants to wait until she sees where
the relationship is going first. If he can't appreciate and respect
this in you, he will not stand up for you when the time comes.

Do not be accepting of any treatment just because you are dating a male of the culture you are in love with.

Ree
www.shireemccarver.com